I know, she's makes me crazy too

You know the one - the voice in your head that's inordinately concerned with what other people think, how you look, that stupid thing you said, and what you're currently "failing"?

Have you noticed that she doesn't respond to reason? That's because she's not rational.

Think of it like explaining to your thirteen-year-old why you can't get a cat. One would think it's obvious with two dogs - one who's up all night and the other who's afraid of his shadow - full-time work and travel (not tomention that a cat lives for 20 years!). But alas, now you've engaged in the conversation, and any attention to the matter will only bring an on-slot of counterpoints. (You've just gotten a glimpse into my life).

Maybe you've also noticed that a good old-fashioned tongue-lashing only guarantees that voice clinging to your pant leg all day.

Why? Well, how likely are you to respect the wishes of a person who tells you to Shut It?

The critical voice in your head is your little girl (or little guy) and they're merely trying to keep you safe. In her eyes, if you make one wrong

Can you imagine believing with your heart and soul that a piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe means the end of your career? That's the panicthis little gal lives with.

When you tell this frightened child to shut the f up, you're furthering his or her feelings of stupidity and invalidating their feelings.

However, you can't give in to every anxiety-fueled whim, so what do you do?

Ask her to use her inside voice.

This has a multi-faceted effect. First, embodying her inside voice means that, by definition, whatever she's saying will come off softer, kinder, even. When she's less rude, you're open to hearing the fear behind the abuse. You can consciously witness her overreaction and find empathy for this part of yourself.

And that opens the door to something beautiful—you can hear your authentic inner voice—your essence, your wisdom.

So, please, when the voice in your head wants to abuse you, put your arm around that little guy or gal as you would a small child who shrieks in fear at a scary movie.

Ask her to use her inside voice, or better yet, walk her out of the theater, get down to her eye level, and have her tell you everything she's feeling. Reassure her that you got her back, and she can relax. Hold her hand and put her in your lap for the rest of the movie.