ABBY’S ILLUMINATIONS

GUIDING NOTES FROM ABBY’S LIFE TO CHALLENGE & UPLIFT YOURS:

i hate not knowing
abby havermann abby havermann

i hate not knowing

In kindergarten, I used to hold my breath until my face turned red.

My mother still tells me how frustrated I got whenever I didn’t know whatever was being taught at school.

“How could you know it if you haven’t learned it yet?” She’d try to console me.

Now, when my mind insists I should know, my teacher tells me, “You can’t jump over your knees.”

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happy 4th!
abby havermann abby havermann

happy 4th!

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” – Viktor E. Frankl 

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are you uber self-aware?
abby havermann abby havermann

are you uber self-aware?

I’m in the business, for heaven’s sake.

But, leading-edge neuroscience tells us that no matter how much time one spends under the hood, we’re not accessing even half of what we think we are.

This only matters if you want to create your life on purpose rather than by accident.

This is edgy, but it's true: If you listen to yourself for an hour (and you’re being honest), you’ll see that you talk out of two sides of your mouth.

How do I know? Because I listen for a living. See if the examples below resonate with you.

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this is my kind OF DAY
abby havermann abby havermann

this is my kind OF DAY

I talk much about moving through life from the "inside out." 

In other words, using that seldom-heard voice banging around the soundproof box in your gut to determine what's right for you, not for Aunt Nelly, your spouse or child, or even what your mother taught you, but what's right for you.

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am i a fraud?
abby havermann abby havermann

am i a fraud?

When I first booked the From Burn Out to Badass workshop, I imagined myself bouncing into the venue on night one, bushy-tailed and polka-dotted.

However, as the time approached to craft what I wanted to teach, it came to my attention that Cinderella's stepmother (who has a habit of living inside my head) had been on a rampage, leaving me exhausted.

In other words, I had to teach how to avoid burnout when I’d allowed myself to become burnt out.

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gratitude is so outdated
abby havermann abby havermann

gratitude is so outdated

I know this is edgy, but don’t delete me yet; I have no beef with gratitude. The only problem is it can be elusive.
Take, for example, Mona (my adorable and grateful dog).

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What’s Wrong with this Sentence?
abby havermann abby havermann

What’s Wrong with this Sentence?

We had a lively discussion last night in the Mastermind, Elevate. It landed in everyone's consciousness that they believed it was their job to make everyone happy - be it at a dinner party, family outing, or work event. Not only is this impossible, but it's what drives feeling like a Hot Mess. 

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ponder this on Halloween
Ella London Ella London

ponder this on Halloween

I hate Halloween. I know, I know...what can I say? It’s my truth.  When I was in middle school, my best friend would binge on horror movies and Stephen King novels while I was busy hiding from my own shadow. As an adult, merely mentioning a costume party…

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Guilt, Anyone?
Ella London Ella London

Guilt, Anyone?

I was speaking in a group recently, where the issue of guilt was raised -guilt for not being available, guilt for saying no, guilt in parenting (a gimme), guilt for needing time and space...there's really no end to guilt.I shared a mantra I often give my clients to whisper to themselves when unsure of what to do:

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What I Wish MD’s Knew
Ella London Ella London

What I Wish MD’s Knew

So this week, I went to the dermatologist because my unconscious likes to express itself through random skin conditions. The frisky, fresh-out-of-school medical woman said, “How’s your hernia?” Excuse me, what?

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I had to Pass this Along
Ella London Ella London

I had to Pass this Along

I'm just back from the TED Women conference. It was, hands down, the best conference I've ever been to. Why? It wasn't all the things I did, the places I went, or even the talks I heard. It was the real conversations, the deep connections, and the authenticity.

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Well this sucked.
Ella London Ella London

Well this sucked.

When I was young, I wanted to "reach my potential." I had a habit of comparing myself to every Sally, Joan, and Kate, and that habit led me to give up and quit trying altogether. Inevitably, I'd have a success, or someone pumped me up, and I'd go at it with renewed energy, but not for long. A force inside or outside of me knocked me off center, and I'd be stagnant again.

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use your kids properly
Ella London Ella London

use your kids properly

Sometimes I forget to stop working. Jaden lost his electronics over the weekend (and by that, I mean I stormed into his room, unplugged his Xbox monitor while he was playing, collected his phone, iPad, and computer, and stormed out). When there is no screen time,

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Your key to Inner Tranquility
Ella London Ella London

Your key to Inner Tranquility

You Silky-Haired Goddesses wouldn’t know this, but us curly-haired gals are asked to brush our hair out before it’s colored. My son snapped this Chia Pet picture of me, and I realized I'm kinda like a hairdresser!

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My Serious Case of the Yips
Ella London Ella London

My Serious Case of the Yips

It all started when my husband peeled a hard-boiled egg over my in-law's kitchen sink.  “You need a lesson on that?” his father asked, peering over his shoulder. Brian chuckled. “Sure, you got a better way?”

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